My Physiotherapist

I think it's strange at how some random people leave deep impression in your life.
Especially when their appearance is neither planned nor expected. By chance - you would have name it.
Brian is one of whom i've encountered recently.

Ever since i've started physiotherapy, SGH has become the next most frequent hangout after church as i would have to return every one to two weeks.
Initially, i was allocated to Sharon, Physiotherapist I, who is a sweet and gentle (but definitely not when she rubs on my back with her 吃奶的力!) girl and i'm quite comfortable with her.
However, two months later, she suggested to transfer me to another unit which specialises in more intense back stretching exercise under strict supervision. "More intense"!!! But i had no excuse to back out since i'm prepared to be moved like a chess the moment i stepped into SGH. It's for my good isn't it. Anyway, i've digressed.
And so when i turned up at the "intense unit" one fine day, that was where i met Brian, Physiotherapist II.
His cheerful disposition puts his patients at ease and he is ever ready with his words of encouragement when they have difficulties in their exercises. But nothing beats his cheekiness.
There's little time that i isn't in my i-can-so-die-right-now frame of mind and i would either find fault with the machine, no space or the gym ball isn't placed properly. And my most commonly used exclamation is "how can??!!!".
But somehow, he is always able to coax me to complete the set of thirty. 厉害!
The rest of the physiotherapists would just buy in to my lame excuses and skip those impossible stretches.

Today, I went for my appointment, whined about being sick and managed to escape the trainer. Heh heh.
However, he didn’t let me off so easily too. I had a good workout on my lower abdominal muscle when I almost threw up. He commented that he doesn’t believe in easy things.
Perhaps the trainer was a better option.
In any case, after the usual one-hour long therapy, I sat down for the usual debrief and booking of next session when he randomly mentioned that the Australian radio station, which was already playing, was pretty good.
I didn’t bother much about it as I was busy deciding on my next appointment date.
After confirming the appointment which is two weeks later, he abruptly said that this would be the last session with me as he would be leaving the hospital very soon to further his studies in Australia.
Being a subsidized patient for so long, I’m kinda used to changing of medical officers but when Brian broke the news to me, I had a sense of reluctance. But the strangest thing is that such a connection can be built just over two sessions of therapy!
I bade my farewell and left the hospital in deep thoughts, of things I couldn’t put in words.

Now that I’m seated at Starbucks at Central Mall, I hope to be able to decipher the thoughts that tagged along by recording the events. I drew several possibilities:

1. I was purely envious of him, to be able to pursue his studies abroad.
2. I was reminded of a close one who would be following his footstep in less than a month.
3. My condition seemed to have improved under Brian’s supervision and I didn’t have the similar faith for the next therapist.
4. It is not easy to find a therapist I can click instantly and I find it a pity that one of such has to go so soon.
5. I was merely too emotional because I’m ill. You know, sick people are usually emotionally weaker.

Oh man, what rubbish am I rattling about??!

All the best, Brian Pereira.

Joy from the Lord

It really makes a different when a person prayed.
In little ways, God showed that He heard and He cared.
It was so intimate that only both of us know. =)

On my way to KKH, i bumped into Bel at the shuttle bus queue.
I always hope to see her at the hospital since the time she started work there.
Finally had the chance today and we had a nice catch-up during the shuttle ride.

First stop was at the Diagnostic Imaging centre for the ultrasound, pelvis.
The queue was amazingly quick and i almost didn't wanna go in when the nurse shouted for me, coz i was watching the table tennis men's single - Singapore vs Portugal match.
Thank goodness i managed to catch a glimpse of the final match point where Singapore took its victory.

Then it was followed by ultrasound, breasts which was...painful.
She thought she could use her bull strength since it was not her flesh.
My face was cringing throughout.
The procedure was pretty smooth and i ended my visit in less than 2 hours.

I had three hours before the swim and i decided to spend the solo time at my pace.
Enjoying every moment.
Taking pleasure at every sight.

How can a slacking afternoon be completed without indulging at my favourite coffee place?
This was the second time in a week that i patronised TCC at Bugis and for the second time, i ordered the Classic Marble Cheesecake. Heh.
And it just had to be complimented by a premium coffee.
Awesome!!!
It reminded me of the Korean escapade and i began to dream of the next one.
I MUST have another one!
I can live like this forever.
Such a terrific weekday afternoon.
What so bad about being alone?
Alone doesn't equate to Lonely for sure.
It's just a matter of perspective.
As much as Bonny is a high-E, i do treasure my solitary moments too.
Other than doing things i like, not compromising to situations, i am able to see things in details and am more sensitive to the surrounding too.
Shiokness.

Oh to add on to my delight, i pampered myself with a new swimsuit!
Pretty is an understatement.
Nah show you a bit only. I shy. Keke.
More joy from the Lord tomorrow!

=)

Fragile. Beware!

I think i'm getting fragile.
Eversince i was forced to acknowledge the fact that i'm unsuitable for competitive games, i didn't even dare to lay my hands on a netball.
None did i know that a train ride could also cause my back to react violently.
Trains during peak hours are ridiculously crowded and it explains why i try to avoid it as far as i could.
I was running late for work yesterday and thus had to take a train instead of the usual bus rides.
It was so packed that i couldn't hold onto any support and had to balance myself on foot.
At some point, the train had a sudden jerk and i lurched two steps to the side.
I regained my poise and seemed to be ok and i continued my journey to work.
It was later in the day that i realised a sharp pain at my lower back.
No matter how i tried to make myself comfortable, i just couldn't seem to find the perfect position.
I had difficulty standing and walking straight after sitting for a period of time and my back was starched. Any more big movement and it will cui.
Quickly i swallowed a couple of Panadol Extend but it was just too late.
The pain lingered on till i got home, till i took a couple of Anarex (muscle relaxant), till i fell asleep.

Woke up this morning feeling a lil better but thought i should just have one more dosage.
I took it minutes before noon and thereafter, i was anarexically high for the rest of the day.
Wonder why Anarex wasn't smart enough to just relax my back muscle, but m.u.s.c.l.e.s in general.
I was disabled and my vision was blurred.
It was when i thought i could knock off for the day, an irritant had to come by and pushed his limits. Gross!

Guess what! When i finally made it home, i accidentally twisted my left ankle again.
See...i told you i'm about to cui already.

On a separate note, i was watching the repeat telecast of a chinese drama on Channel 8 last night and the part about the male lead suffering from cancer.
His doctor related to him that even if the chemotherapy worked on him, he was still subjected to a window period of five years when there could be a possibility of a relapse.
Apparently he was kinda shadowed by this possibility and started to make arrangement for his family in case of a relapse.
Then i started counting.
I have one more year to my fifth.
What if....
What if....
What if....

I'll be seeing Dr Chia end this month since the previous follow-up with her a year ago.
If everything goes well, i should be discharged officially when i see her next year.
Should be ok right? =p

Food Poisoning

I opened my eyes 10mins to 8 this morning and felt a weird sensation in my gastric.
It's tight, it's bloated, it's uncomfortable.
I forced myself to fall asleep again, hoping that the pain will go away.
2 hours later, i was woken by the pain again and this time, i got off bed and dashed into the bathroom and...i merlioned.
I could see the undigested mushrooms i had for dinner last night. Ewww....
Feeling worse, i headed back to bed again and again, hoping the pain will be gone when i wake up the next time.
An hour later, i decided to self-medicate with Poh Chai pills and went back to sleep again.
At noon, i dashed into the bathroom again and this time, it came out from the...ermm....bottom.
The pain got worse and i finally had to acknowledge that i might have been food poisoned. =(

Mummy managed to source for a clinic that operates late but the con was that i had to bus there. Sian...
I got change and dragged myself to the bus stop which was infested with tonnes of students.
The smell of the french fries they were munching on almost made me puke.
Fried and oily food are the biggest enemy for food-poisoned patient.
Upon reaching the clinic, i was a bit dreadful when i realised i had to wait for 7 more patients before my turn and the saddest part was, 1 of the patients took 30min of consultation.
I almost died.
When it was my turn finally, at the first glance, the doc didn't hesitate to give me a jab straight away.
I must have looked darn bad.
I asked if it was food poisoning, he gave me the "ah-ber-then" look. Fine, just wanna confirm.
The journey home was the worst.
I had to rest for a couple of times as i thought i was blacking out.
And it was just the distance from the clinic to the main road, as i wanted to hail a cab.
The moment i got into the cab, i panted like dog and broke into cold sweat.

I concussed for the rest of the day and missed the gathering with Gil and gang.
We were supposed to discuss for her wedding preparation and i felt so bad that i couldn't be there. =(
I had my first meal of the day at 6 in the evening where i managed to consume half a plate of porridge Mummy cooked.
The churning pain was still there but at least i didn't feel nauseous.
And guess what, i went back to bed again after dinner. =p
You know you are really ill when you can't seem to get enough of sleep.

The shower i tried to take later wasn't easy too.
I had to sit on the toilet bowl several times as i blacked out again. My gosh.
I hurried throught my shower and plonged myself at the sofa till now.

I prayed that I could lose weight before meeting Dr Chia next month and i'm glad i've succeeded.
Just that the method was a bit brutal.
I'm turning in now for the x times again.

MC King

Hours after the death of MC King, the news was featured in major news site and numerous blogs.
It's shocking.
The fact that it was sudden.
The fact that he was young.
It was indeed a pity that a life was taken away just like that.
Instantly, i was shadowed by fear.
Fear that i will be a victim too.
For a long time, i have phobia of dying in my sleep or any time when my heart has decided to stop working.
Especially when i already have a history with the cardiac clinic at TTSH.
It makes the worry even more valid.

Whenever i saw or heard of reports on heart disorders, i would have difficulty breathing or feeling heavy on my heart.
Somehow i concluded that it was psychological and of course, spiritual.
When i succumbed to fear, the devil had secretly grabbed a foothold in me.
Wrong move.

I will pray and may you intercede for me too.

Broke-Back Bonny

I broke my back again! Boohoo!!!! =(
It's 6 months and 5 days ago that i last broke my back after a captain's ball game.
History repeated itself yesterday.
We were competiting our final game of the Inter-floor Games Challenge when the tragedy happened.
I think i exerted too much.
The 10th floor guys were aggressive leh.
I'm not blaming them, it's just a game anyway.
It's my weak back muscle to blame.
I think i really should consider taking up swimming.
Yah lah, Bonny is a swimming-idiot, sas-ti-fied?? Huh huh huh?? =p
Nevertheless, we got second in the match, after 10th floor.

This morning, i got up, contemplating if i should come to work.
I decided to visit the chinese sinseh first.
Oh boy...torturous man. I thought he was going to smash my bones and rip my muscles apart.
I think i should really heed the advice of the physiotherapist in Tan Tock Seng, to refrain from high-impact and strenuous sports.
3 years ago when i was admitted into the A&E for the same problem i.e. spasm caused by extensive stretching of weak back muscles, the doctor and physiotherapist warned me against the exercises i could do.
Of course, badminton, netball, captain's ball were out.
For a long time, i didn't want to accept the fact that i had to stop playing my favourite sports.
But you know, back pain is the worst pain i could have, ok...other than eletrocautery.
And it seemed to occur be more frequent than it should be and the latest incidents had a common factor i.e. captain's ball.
Looks like, i have no alternatives but to "stay chill".
In any case, i came to work after visiting the chinese sinseh [despite walking like an old lady], because mc-s issued by tcm establishments are not recognised. =(
And i didn't want to coop up at home, feeling depressed alone too.

We had the prize-presentation ceremony for the Inter-floor Games Challenge during lunch today. And guess what???
WE WON!!!! Hooray to the 8th-floorers!
Exactly, we won the Sparta Award [highest points] and the Ratatouille Award [highest participation].
We received like $460 worth of Royal Sporting House vouchers, dozens of water bottles and a couple of hampers with healthy food. Haha.
Guess it was the process that was enjoyable lah [ok minus my back].

Bonny's going to Show's [罗志祥] concert tomorrow! Woohoo!!!
Initially, i was hoping to be called on stage and hold hands sing song with him [coz he openly expressed that he likes 肉肉的女生 mah and Bonny got more than the 肉 he wants loh! =p].
Now with my back in this state, how to, you tell me!
So sad... (";)

Electrocautery

I have been home for the past days and today is the 3rd.
All because for the "cosmetic surgery" i put myself to.
Not a nose job.
Not liposuction [although i very much hope so...haha].
Not breasts enhancement.
The process is called Electrocautery which is a burning method to remove a body or to close a part of it.
If not for the Seborrhoeic Keratosis i have on my face, i wouldn't subject myself to this highly excruciating process.
Seborrhoeic Keratosis are growths that resemble raised warts which may exhibit a variety of colors, from pink or yellow through brown and black.
For mine, it was brown.
The cause was genetic and i had them since young.
They were painless and didn't really affect my life, except for the appearance which posed a disturbance to me. Especially when people asked!

My first Electrocautery was done when i was 16, when Mummy brought me to a neighbourhood beauty centre for the treatment.
Till today, i couldn't forget the burning sensation i had as the current passed through every single warts on my face.
Mind you, they were all over my face can!
No anaesthesia, no nothing.
Just a naked face.
I remembered i teared like mad.
I couldn't imagine anyone to suffer like this for some neligible stuff on her face [at least at the age of 16 =p].
After the treatment, all the warts i had were replaced by burnt marks and it was like throwing a handful of black sesame seeds and sticking them onto my face.
The worse was...i had to bring that black-sesamed-face to school loh!
And you know how immature childish the seondary school boys can be!
Ugly and morally damaged. How sad right.
The saddest part was...it's not a permanent solution. Meaning..the warts will recur after time. Haiz.

So 10 years later, being a grown-up lady in her 花样年华 years and not able to endure the flawed complexion, i decided to myself through the process again.
I know...it's a torture and i could still remember the pain etc. But...but...haiz...you won't understand lah.
This time, i went to the National Skin Centre as i realised my company could subsidize 85% of the costs. Hah!
And i trusted the trained medical professionals.
The professor who attended to me at the first consultation was good and she was the one who suggested doing a Electrocautery for me.
The treatment was scheduled a month later, which was on Wednesday.

Unfortunately, i got to know that the professor was on mc, only when i reached the clinic.
By right, her assistant should stop me from coming and rechedule the appointment.
BUT! She missed me out. Win already.
Not wanting to waste my trip and most importantly, my cab fare, i insisted on getting it done on the same day.
The assistant later got an Associate Consultant to do it for me instead.
I didn't think she did a good job as she was rushing to pick up her daughter.
I shall reserve my comments till i view the final results i.e. when the scabs totally fall off.

The difference between a beauty centre and NSC, is that the later can prescribe numbing cream and MC!!!!! Woohoo!!!
Well the process wasn't totally painless as the numbing cream didn't cover some of the areas, but it was so much better than the 10-years-ago one.
Of course, the 3-days MC was the biggest bonus!
Nevertheless, the consequence remained unchange, i.e. the black-sesamed-face.
Haiz...no choy lor.
I took a picture of my current state actually but i decided not to uglify my blog with it. =p

Oh...despite the ugly face, i made a trip to Tampines Mall in the late morning [lesser people mah =p] yesterday to upgrade my mobile phone!
My Nokia N80 started lagging big time on Monday and i thought i better get rid of it fast.
After deciding on a model, i hurried down [at the risk of scaring people with my face] to the M1 shop and traded in my N80 at $250 for this!

I love it coz it's not black or silver and it's slim and lady-like!
I paid like $148 only after the trade-in! Good deal loh.
Well, at least this will lift up my mood a lil, rather than getting cooped up at home with my black-sesamed-face.
Of course that was second to attending the bible study conducted by Ps Philip Huan who is one of my favourite pastor.
He preached on the book of Daniel and taught on coping with a difficulty boss.
Not that i have this issue currently but i guess it also helped in teaching me on how to be a light of God in the office.
Tough you know.
Tonight is the first gathering for the Chill-Out CGs and i'll be meeting my new CG members too, with my black-sesamed-face.
But i'm sure they wouldn't mind. Hee...

Meanwhile, i shall continue to enjoy the hard-to-come-by weekday afternoon.

胃好痛

Well, it seems that my new diet plan wasn't as suitable as i thought.
The very late lunch yesterday had resulted in acute pain in my abdomen and forced me to leave class 20min earlier.
The pain didn't cease even till this morning hence i had to visit Dr Wong.
After charging me a good 41 bucks (!!!) for 3 packs of drugs, it was diagnosed as gastritis.
Dr Wong sure knows how to make money.
He said it's caused by excessive coffee, ciggarattes, alcohol or irregular meals.
But i only had irregular meals for 1 day leh. Such a significant impact?

I tried to consume some congee when i got home from the clinic but halfway, i just merlion-ed.
Great...objective achieved! =)
It's only enduring the pain.

I need to lie down now.

Office Bluez

The giddy spell has been staying with me ever since the beginning of last week.
I've seen the doc, blood pressure checked, regular with my medication and nothing seems to be wrong.
I could explore deeper like with a intense eye-check or even MRI, but i really prefer not to if you get what i mean.
May i just be healed in the power of God.

I felt extremely dizzy today when i was supposed to be happy to shop for a gift during lunch for Boss' promotion.
I could feel that i was swaying when i tried to enjoy the ramen in front of me. I tried ignore it.
Felt better after lunch until i was called in for a close-door session with Boss. Close-door sessions are sensitive in office, for your information.
So what happened?
Remember the saga [scroll to the bottom] that happened at the beginning of the year?
[As i was trying to find the link of my entry for the saga, i realised it happened almost 6 months ago loh!]
Boss called me in and started the talk by showing me the article from the magazine.
When i saw that, i somehow knew what was coming.
To cut the story short, HR wanted Boss to clarify with me what exactly happened 3 years ago [!]and whether i'm still holding onto any hard feelings with them.
Oh well, as i tried not to be judgemental about their intention, i just couldn't feel less irritated.
Not exactly with HR, but rather with the entire saga.
Did i make a wrong move to even agree to be featured in the book?
But not that i knew that others would extract the story to be published elsewhere. Why are there so many busybodies and gossipers around?
It seemed that i became a convenient platform for the rest to display their discontentment towards HR.
At the end of the talk with Boss, he said that the director of HR had asked to meet me.
Happy already? =(
All the while, i've chosen to be the silent party coz i found that there were too many subjective views involved and i could only worsen the situation if i tried to explain for myself.
Why must they force me to speak up when i don't want to?
Boss assured me that the saga didn't cause any influence on my previous appraisal but now that he mentioned, i'm really doubtful.
Sian is the word.

Right after the close-door session with Boss, he called for a impromptu division meeting and officially announced the result of the reorg and...his departure.
He will be seconded to the Ministry with effect from 1 Sep.
Well, the rumours of his departure have been spreading like wild fire when he somehow hinted quite obviously.
However, when it became cast in stone, i couldn't hold back my emotions.
He has been a dear boss to me. My best boss ever in my entire working life.
Perhaps i am the longest serving staff eversince he started this division 3 years ago, i felt extremely strong.
The rest of the SPians told me "because you are with him for the longest time". Very true.
People came and left the division during these 3 years but i felt safe and protected as i know he was holding onto the fort. No doubt for my confidence in him.
He made me proud to be his officer despite how junior my position is.
I'm honoured to have him as my Boss too.
As i have a direct view into his room from my work station, i have a habit of peeping into his room every morning and i'm happy if i see him around. It means that he doesn't have to attend early morning meetings.
I guess it's understandable for most to be concerned about the aftermath upon his departure but as for me, i'm just saddened that he's soon to be gone.
Coz i really heart Boss very much.
On the hindsight, i am happy for him, that he can move to a greener pasture with the capabilities he has.
I will look forward to any future opportunities of coorporation with Boss.
To witness the departure of 2 good bosses [3 actually] within the same year, it undoubtedly added to my emotional roller coaster.

I couldn't help but carried the accumulated emotions of the day's events to Prayer Meeting later in the evening. Kinda guilty when i was supposed to be there to pray for the church. =p
I cried my heart out to Him, in distress, in desperation.
For a moment, i prayed to ask Him to take me away.
I am tired, really tired with the things of this world.
I just want to rest in Him till as long as i can.
But thanks to Uncle Chua [if you are reading this] for your sensitivity.
I knew that "sudden appearance" next to me wasn't coincidental. =p
God has indeed blessed me with lovely brothers and sisters despite the tough journey i'm traveling on.

Whatever His plan is gonna be, i'm clinging onto His promises.

See you next year Dr Chia!

Today is the day i would get to know the results of the ultrasound scans i did last Wednesday.
I CLEARED!
I couldn't be less awed by God's constant protection and healing in me despite my problematic body.
I will only grow stronger each time!
Thank God and praise God!
I have a good God!

Dr Chia was still as cheery, as pretty and as chatty as ever.
She would always give me hug whenever i entered the room.
When will you ever get a hug from a doctor one? You would probably give him a slap if he is a guy.
Dr Chia is different. She's more than a doctor to me.
She's God-sent, really.
I had a funny thought when i left the room. If one day i'm gonna get married, i will definitely invite her.
Don't ask me why. Told you it's a funny thought.
And i've made friend with Renu, the assisting nurse over the years too.
She would always be the first to say hi when i was waiting outside.
We had a chat today and realised she is an oncologist nurse and has been with GCC for 7 good years! Wah sei!
My next follow-up is a year later. Good and bad.
It started with follow-up every quarter, then half-yearly and now annually.
It means i'm recovering well and if it's stable for another 2 years, i've fully recovered! Woohoo!
So that's good.
Bad is....i'm gonna miss Dr Chia. =(
But that's ok, perhaps i'll just drop by whenever i'm free. =)

After hearing so much about her, here is a pic we took 3 years ago, the first follow-up after the op.

She was pregnant then.

If it's not because of my crippled cammy, i would have taken an updated pic today!

*umph*

Mushroom Allergy

When i got up this morning, i found my left eye swollen and it was covered with a layer of transparent gell-like substance.
I wasn't tearing nor was it itchy. Just uncomfortable and red.
Other than its inproportion in size as compared to my right eye, i could feel my left cheek being stretched upwards too.
It's ugly loh!

Anyway, doc said that it could be food allergy and i was given eye drop and Seprex.
Hope it'll get better in the afternoon.
No MC.

Tracing back to the food i took yesterday, nothing usual other than my first attempt with the Portobello Mushroom last night.
Don't tell me Bonny is allergic to Portobello Mushrooms!!! I love it leh! *sob*

On the hindsight, i was rather glad that i found a food which i can't consume.
I used to be able to eat EVERYTHING and it just made me appear like a greedy pig. =p
Ok at least now i pretend to be demure and tell people~ "Oh i can't eat Portobello Mushrooms wor, maybe some spinach will do".
Kekeke... Bonny is siao.

Ultrasound + Appraisal + Weddings

Pardon for the lag of entries lately.
Largely was because i was busy, with work, school, church.
Not "busy" "busy" but just packed with activities day after day.
Another reason was also due to the lost of connection to my broadband from home.

Some updates.

On Wednesday, i went for the ultrasound scans as scheduled at KKH.
Started with the one at pelvis, then breasts.
The new breasts centre at KKH is pretty cool, other than the idea of locating it near the food court.
I thought they should just segregate the medical clinics and the commercial stores.
Anyway, during the scan, i realised the radiographer took a longer time on my right breast as compared to my left and she kept "hovering" at a particular spot.
She did the right one first, moved on the the left and back to the right again.
As i sensed something amissed, she politely asked me to hold on while she called for a doctor.
Hmmmmm....
When the doctor came in, the radiographer pointed her to the screen which reflected the image of the ultrasonic waves on the part she "hovered" earlier.
Then they murmured to each other and it went on for the next 10-15min before i probed.
"Well, it could be due to some tissues or whatsoever or the depression on that particular spot which is more exaggerating than the other side. Well, we can do a biopsy to be sure but it may not be neccessary. I'll flag out in your report," the doctor said.
So what?
In any case, the reports of all the ultrasound scans will be routed to Dr Chia and we'll be meeting next week.
Whether it's good or bad, we'll know it by then.
Just have to pray that it'll not be the case like 4 years ago when i received the tearing news alone in the cold room.
Meanwhile, just keep Bonny in prayer ya.
Seriously speaking, i think i'm kinda immuned to such "surprises".
Once in a while, i'll get them. To the point i wonder which part of my body is problem-free.
Maybe my fingernails??

Started the first lecture for the 3rd year of my course.
Information System of Organistion (ISORG) = boredom >> NO JOKE!
A fifth of the class left after the coffee break, considering that it was only the first lesson.
The class ended half an hour before time and i grabbed the time and headed for Sports Club!
For that few minutes i also shiok. Heh.
But this is good for Bonny! It means that i might not have to miss cell group that much afterall.
Haha. Ssshhh....
The first sky of the new curriculum.
Not bad, still got 一道曙光.


Oh, i got my appraisal.
I could only say i kept to my standard and i'm contented.
Bonus was good.
Really thank God for the blessing.
Since this is a job He sent, i was quite assured that He will provide.
Hence i will only give thanks to what i was given just because it was given by Him.
The favour He bestowed was really beyond my imagination.
The faith and recognition from my bosses are blessings.
You know s'times i am really amazed by how God places people at certain place and certain time. They just fit somehow.
Cool isn't it?
Therefore, with the cool bonus, i'm gonna PLAN!
Plan what? You'll know soon. Muahahaha!

Tomorrow is a busy day for me.
2 weddings in 1 day.
The 07.07.07 thingy has become a hot date for people to get hitched.
Ah Cong's is a lunch reception in church and i'm singing for the worship.
Mummy made a PINK dress for me and i thought i look like a nurse in it, except that it's hot pink.
Well, being a uber-matcher, i knew i have to quickly get a matching pair of white round-headed heals, preferably with a ribbon.
Far East Plaza is really the best place to solve your urgent-shoes problem i tell you! I knew it and i found it! Yay! Matching matching!!
SH (Xf's sis) will be a night affair which i'll be involved in worship during the holy matrimony before the banquet and emcee-ing during the banquet.
I got that outfit prepared as well. Not new though.
Who cares if it's pretty! Oops, high-self esteem at work again. Muahaha!!!
Perhaps i should start a free-lance business or something.
Earn a bit of 外快 is not a bad idea with the cashew nuts pay i'm getting.
Worth a thought.

That's all for now.
Stay cool and funky peeps!

It's Friday!

It's FRIDAY!!!
Fridays hadn't been quite a difference for the past 1.5 month since it was weekend for me everyday.
The first week of life-back-to-normal was an adjustment to my momentum.
Expectedly, work piled up, email chasers, phonecalls of "oh you are finally back!".
Well, what's new?
Now, with the departure of an officer of my division, i had to put on more caps naturally.
Training, budget, website - you name it, i did it.
But i managed it well, i meant mentally and emotionally.
No fret, no irritation, so stress. Ok a just little. =p
But i reckon that Bonny has only a pair of hands and a brain not bigger than others.
It's just that much that i could do.
"Urgent" has become an over-used and mis-used word.
I could no longer based on "it's urgent" or "please expedite" to prioritize the tasks as i simply couldn't measure the degree of urgency for each of them.
Everything is urgent wor. Then how?
Not that i chose to be nonchalant , but i think it's also time that the management wake up their idea on the realism of the understaff situation.
If i were to be gan chiong spider for all the things that need to be done, think i'll go mad and they'll receive my letter soon.
So for the sake of all parties, i had to adopt such attitude and behaviour till i see light.
Irregardless of candle, fluorescent or neon light, as long as there is light.
That's about work.

Since Wednesday morning, i felt that i had some difficulty breathing.
It was as though there's a ball of gas stuck right at the centre of my chest and the inhaled oxygen just couldn't get through to my lungs.
I couldn't even take deep breathe and i could almost hear my lungs calling out "hey send some air, won't you?".
When such thing happened, my paranoia self would imagine that i might stop eventually stop breathing during my sleep.
But anyway, i tahan-ed for 2 days before i visited Dr Wong (again).
"Another problem again..." that was how i started the conversation when i entered his room.
After rattling that it shouldn't be my heart and showed him the report i got from TTSH who discharged me last week [thank God!], he stethoscoped the neccessary body parts and revealed a clueless expression.
Dr W: "Your lungs are very clear." [which is good]
Dr W: "Hmm..." [still looking clueless]
Bonny: "Could it be indigestion? I've been burping more frequently than usual."
Dr W: "Ah-huh! That's an important piece of info. Ya....i think should be indigestion."
Fwah...win already!
I diagnosed my own problem and ended up paying $27 for his concurrence with MY diagnosis and 2 packs of gastric gas tablets.
K lah...he did support with some knowledgeable details to make the conclusion more impressive.
So i still love him one.
Haha...

CG tonight and Pastor is coming.
So better behave.
Heh.

Injured Back

I injured my back!!!!

And i have a paper next Wed!!!!

How how how??!!

Boohoo!!!!!

(";)

Wait

I am into another round of waiting game again.
Seriously i really dislike this feeling of waiting.
It slows me down and results in inefficiency.

Wait #1
It has been 8 days and i haven't receive the result of my pap smear and biopsy report of that thing.
Previously it was posted to me in like 4 days?
There is only 1 possibility that they will withhold the report i.e. when they found abnormalities and it's not very compassionate to just "inform" you in this manner.
Dr Chia said that she will call me if there's 'anything'.
I have phobia to receive calls from unfamiliar or private numbers on my mobile eversince.
This morning, i rang up the hospital as i really couldn't stand it any further.
The friendly nurse said it usually takes 3 weeks.
But why last time 4 days?? I didn't ask her.
Ok maybe i'm just being paranoid.

Wait #2
By right, we should be due for the 2nd appointment at HDB next Friday and that is when the procedures will be completed and keys ready for collection.
HDB is supposed to send a letter to inform us of the time and such but till now...DON'T HAVE loh!
So what? Is it still on or not?
Last night, i received a mail from Singapore Land Authority and it says Caveat Notice.
I frightened myself (and Mum) when i saw words like "mortgagee" and "中止转手" (it was a multilingual notice).
What what what??
Couldn't be bothered by the fact that it was a few minutes before midnight, i rang my housing agent.
Later then i found out it was an usual procedure.
Ok now had to pacify the frantic Mum.
How i know?? It's my first purchase what!
Ok back to the letter...
Well, it did mention in one of the processing documents that we will get the letter around 1 week before the date of 2nd appointment.
So technically saying, this Friday will be exactly 1 week.
Ok maybe i'm just being uptight.
I'll wait for 1 more day then. =p

Some time ago, read in a brother's blog where he wrote his testimony on waiting for God and being patient.
I did place my hope on God and trust that He will be ahead of me in all circumstances.
Perhaps i misplaced some "hope" elsewhere thus causing the anxiety.
See...i asked for it.

The brother that i mentioned wrote this song....

WAIT
Verse
My soul it yearns for you at night
My spirit longs for you all day
Your love it rests upon my heart
Your Word I seek and I obey

Pre- Chorus
Humbly I come
Your will be done

Chorus
Lord I wait at Your feet
Bowing before You
Come and release
Your Truth to me
Lift me up from the pit
Take me and cleanse me
Reveal to me
And I’ll respond to You

Bridge
I will wait upon You Lord ….

Reunion with Dr Chia

How time flies, it has been 6 months and i'm back to the familiar place again.
Walking past the A&E, i was subconsciously reminded of the images that took place 3 years ago.
It was very fresh and clear.
Well some things are just hard to be forgotten.

I was thrilled to be able to see Dr Chia again.
She has been my doc-in-charge since 3 years back and i think she's really a blessing for me.
The things she had done, really changed my perception towards government doctors.
Countless things...
When i had to send my diagnosis reports to overseas uni for verification, she helped to persuade the hospital to absorb the charges.
Even when the reports came back, she offered to ring me to tell me the results so that i saved my trouble and money of fixing an appointment with the hospital.
She offered to give me her pager and mobile number, just in case i have any queries on my medical condition.
Not forgetting the boxes of medicines she gave me foc.
She couldn't bear to put me through any risk because she was afraid of "losing" me and because of that, i lived.
I'm just so thankful.

Dr Chia left for Australia to further her studies a year after operating me and returned only last June.
Immediately, she informed me of her return and asked to see me at my next appointment.
She actually remembered me after 1 over years.
Unfortunately the hospital made a mistake and argued that as a subsidized patient, i shouldn't request for a particular doctor. Win already loh.
Therefore i missed the chance of seeing her last July.

Finally, we met today!
So happy loh!
We had so much to catch up and even her assistant commented that i was there for a reunion, not check-up. Haha...
She didn't change a bit. Still so caring, so detailed.
She always wants to make sure that i am alright and wouldn't risk anything she saw/found.
And due to this meticulousness of hers, Bonny had to endure extra pain. =(
While doing the regular pap smear, she saw a "thing" she didn't like and hence there and then, she performed a mini surgery on me. Oh boy....the pain was excruciating!
Persi (my companion of the day) said that she heard me breathing uber loudly from outside the curtain. =p
Well, that's the only way i could do to distract the pain loh.

Dr Chia thinks that "thing" should be benign but it can only be confirmed after the biopsy.
Haiz...another waiting game again.
Perhaps i'm getting used to such "could be" situations. I didn't react much.
Well, it does linger in my mind. Hard not to.
So...hmm...pray with me k.

I was told by Dr Chia that i had passed my 1st risk phase.
I really hope to pass many phases ahead.
I HOPE and i WILL...

Giddiness and...Settlers!

Bonny telecommuted on Friday so that i could go for my blood tests in the morning.

And i went.

And spent 150 bucks!!!

Bonny's heart ached like anything.

But I was pretty amazed with the number of tests that can be taken with that 3 tubes of red liquid.

Dr Wong prescribed a stronger dosage of medicine for my giddiness.

The irony is...it caused drowsiness.

I took one when i got home in the late morning and i concussed for the next 3.5hrs.

I tried forcing myself to get up to reply some emails but..... =p

Finally managed to crawl out of bed at 5.30pm.

Feeling even more giddy than before. =(

Took some food and recognised that i had to go out.

If not, i might feel worse.

So i went for CP at Whampoa (church community work).

During the activity, i felt as though my soul was disconnected from my flesh.

The happenings were moving so rapidly and it was as if i was watching as an onlooker.

It's hard to comprehend i know...neither could i.

In summary, i was groggy lah.

Wrapped up the work at about 9pm and headed to Icekimos with Persi and Xf for some ice-cream.

And followed by supper with Persi.

Went to bed at around 3am...still feeling giddy.

Rose at 12pm the next day!!!

It has been ages since i wasted the entire morning in bed.

Still giddy...haiz.

Lunched, took medicine and napped for 1hr before i met Xf for a movie.

Giddy giddy giddy....

I turned in at about 12am but had a bad night sleep with several disruptions.

I was on duty this morning in church and seriously i contemplated whether to be upstage or not.

I was afraid that i might lose my balance and knock out anytime.

With the big movements and the glaring lightings...quite possible.

I didn't want to put up a drama during worship man.

But i felt a strong sense of assurance from God after praying.

So i decided to perform my duty by faith.

Thank God, it went well. =)

For the rest of the day, i felt better miraculously.

No giddy spells. Yay!

God is indeed my Jehovah Rapha!

The blood tests results will be out tomorrow.

Worried?

Yeah...guess so.

But i'm taking it in stride as i know God is with me.

Well, we'll see...

***

My CG went Settlers today again!

We went to the branch at Katong.

I love this pic with SK and me along the Katong shophouses.

Very 古色古香 hor... =)

I like the Katong branch coz they got pink walls!!!

I tried to take my revenge but!!! Aiyah... missed target!

Bonny had to take cover because someone tried to do the same on me!

My Sunday

Pastor LY preached a good sermon yesterday.
Simple yet difficult.
Was my exact sentiments.

Serving from the Inside Out
1. Serve out of humility, not pride
2. Serve out of love for others, not personal prestige
3. Serve out of God's strength, not physical power

I guess these are not new to many people, including myself.
In fact right from the start, we (should) have been taught.
But we have to be constantly reminded.
It's neccessary, i feel.
In order to set our hearts back to the original state when we first decided to serve God.
Of course, the initial intention must be right in the first place.

For the past 1 over year of service, it has been full of joy and passion.
Not forgetting times when i fell into the trap of service.
The times when my fleshly instincts fogged my focus.
That's when hurts and tears sets in.
But i'm thankful that God will always send a fog remover to draw my focus back on Him again.
Back to my first conviction and calling.

To serve Him as far as i can, that's my desire.

***

After bible study, Koko and i went over to Nicole's place for our gathering.
The main agenda was to watch the video filmed during her wedding. (Finally!)
It was hilarious man!
We laughed until bengz. Bonny literally bengz onto the floor loh.
But later i realised..hey we were laughing at ourselves leh! =D

Bonny was pretty amazed with my facial expressions.
I didn't know i have such exaggerating expressions leh!
You mean i do ah? =p
And i find it so weird to listen to my own voice!!!
Especially when i was compering at the banquet.
Eeewwww.....not nice leh!

We had a belated bday celebration for Koko too.







We simply love the red wall!!

When we stepped into the house, Bonny spotted this!!!!!!


Gracie!!! It's for you to guess!!!

Heh =)

When can i get out of this?

It has been 5 days since i experienced this extreme giddiness syndrome.
It was as though i was placed on a merry-go-round all these while.
Was on mc on Thursday and then i realised it wasn't a good idea to report work on Friday either.
The moment i stepped into my work station, i felt suffocated.
While i stared at the shit stuff laid on my desk.
Of all times, the irritants had to choose that morning.
Friday has always been my favourite day with the best moods but simply not yesterday.
I thought i was about to explode. I wished i could scream aloud.
Therefore in order not to put my relationship with my colleagues at stake, i decided that i should telecommute from home for the remaining half of the day.

Later in the evening, i left home for CG meeting and the moment i descended from the flight of stairs of my flat, i had a 1-sec black out at the void deck.
I regained my balance by holding onto the pillar and stood still to overcome the trauma.
My heart was pulsating like mad.
I managed to make my way to the bus stop 50 steps away but later realised it seemed a safer option to take a cab.
I was shivering in the cab and even when i held onto the chopsticks during my dinner which i didn't finish a bit.
Tecky was trying to ask me about my condition but i was lagging in my response.

They were asking me to lie down, to rest.
But i thought i rested too much.
Even though so, i felt lethargic.
No strength, low spirit.
Very down.
I tried to open up to laugh at the lame jokes which i would usually guffawed like crazy, but it was so unnatural last night.
Don't know why.
Perhaps i have cooped for too long.
Thank God after supper was slightly better.
I managed to eat some and laughed a bit.

Spent the rest of the evening with Mum.
We fascinated about the decor of our new flat.
I could imagined it to be pretty.
Especially my room. Heh.
After viewing more than 20 units, Mum sort of fixed her eyes on one at Chai Chee Drive.
She brought me for the viewing this afternoon and when we decided that it shall be the one, bad news came.
Someone else acted quicker than us and it was hence dealed.
It was merely 1 week when Mum first saw that.
I could literally feel the pinch.
Well guess that's not the one God has prepared for us.
Will continue to wait.
Having said that, the bad news did darken the "blueness" in me a bit.

For the rest of the day after i returned from the viewing, i cooped in my dark room again.
It rained quite a bit this afternoon, that's why.
I went online hoping to find another bored person on MSN but to no avail.
I looked out of my window, counting every raindrops falling off the leaves from the tree.
Time was crawling very slowly.

When can i get out of this?

What's wrong with me???

I haven't been feeling well.
The giddiness is still haunting me every now and then.
And i get tired very easily.
It got worse this week.
Initially i thought i could make full use of my long weekend with loads of activities.
Thank God i didn't.
Just a BBQ preparation worn me out like don't know what.
In the end, i spent the whole of Tuesday recuperating.

During the BBQ on Monday, there were moments when i thought i'm blacking out.
The park and the people around me were spinning.
Thank God i managed to get a hold of myself.

After a day of recuperation on Tuesday, i thought i was getting better.
But I went to work on Wednesday, feeling worse.
I had to balance myself along the corridor to the pantry.
It seemed that i was swaying to one side as i was walking.
Then headache came and my face turned pale, my colleague said so.
I decided to pay Dr Wong a visit as he advised me to previously.
Thank God my blood pressure went down to 145/95.
Then...why am i still feeling weak and giddy?

I have been having morbid thoughts lately.
Thinking that i am dying soon.
I fear when night falls because i'm afraid that I might not live to see the sun rise again.
I hope i can stay awake always.
I know i have been living each day by His grace and i'm still is.
Therefore i would give thanks whenever i managed to wake up.

That day, Vinc msned to ask me to take care of myself as there's still a long way in our partnership to do the work of God.
Tears just rolled off my cheek after seeing that.
Yes, there are so many things that i have yet to do for Him.
I have to live and i want to live.

Scenes of the past have been replaying in my mind.
Everything. Major and minor things.
My granny especially.
From the time when i spent with her during my childhood days to her funeral.
I remembered them so clearly.
I miss her. Very much.

What's wrong with me???

I think the fatigue and giddiness are causing me a little depressed.
Things may not be that serious after all.
I have to get out of this.

God help!