遗憾

遗憾。。。让我爱上了方炯鑌



遗憾。。。让我觉得更遗憾。。。咳

Listen to Me

Finally done with the very impromptu incentive training yesterday which was decided just a week ago at an impromptu meeting.
After days and nights of updating and customizing the slides, i found myself speaking to a group of nine people including my boss LL.
Strangely, i got a bit nervous half an hour from the commencement of the training. I guess it was just different from speaking nonsensical stuff before a crowd of three hundred people and speaking serious stuff before a group of nine.
Almost immediately after the training, i rushed to BTC when i conducted the ice-breakers for the Zone, which was a group of twenty thereabout.
From a consecutive no-nonsense sit-down presentation to an entertainer that hopped around silly, it was crazy.

My journey of group speaking began in secondary school when i started emceeing for whatever events happening on stage. I guess that was when i also paid attention to my daily enunciation and speech.
Then it was followed by a series of cross-talking, story-telling and oratorical competitions.
There was an instance when i had to emcee for a Chinese story-telling competition while being a contestant too. It was uber awkward announcing my own name as the winner at the prize-giving ceremony. You could imagine the jeers i received from the bunch of mischievous students. Haha.
You see, to begin with, i wasn't quite well-liked by almost half my cohort at that time, just like any law-abiding prefect in a neighbourhood school. Hence being in a limelight then was a challenge.
I guess that was how i built my self-esteem and confidence, which seemed to have gone a little overboard now. Haha.
Despite of all these, i had a lot of fun talking on stage when i was in school. I enjoyed the feeling of people paying attention to what i say.

The banquet hosting came when my friends started to tie their knots.
I wasn't too sure but i think it was Eisa's wedding when i did my virgin banquet hosting.
It was rather pleasant as my co-host was pretty eloquent. Believe it or not but i could remember all the co-hosts i partnered before and sad to say most collaborations were disappointing.
I didn't enjoy the first experience because i couldn't tolerate the i-only-care-about-my-shark-fins and i-speak-louder-without-the-mic wedding crowd.
As my voice got louder and louder, i wished they would catch the hint of "would you guys stop eating and listen to me for a while??!!".
But obviously that wasn't the last wedding i hosted and four years later, i still think it isn't my most preferred talking job. In addition, i got a tad bored with the conventional customary wedding banquets.
I always thought that i was asked to host not because i am good but more of the difficulty to find someone who can speak and dare to speak, in Mandarin especially. I would prefer to speak in English if i have a choice.
However, I have my favourites too. For Jokel's and Angian's!
Jokel's was mad fun as Teck and i literally hosted a talkshow with videos, interviews, singing and flashy music. Of course it wouldn't be made possible without the great chemistry with my favourite brother Teck, the highly participative funky Lehman bankers (mainly Caucasians), the Brightonites as well as the adventurous and playful couple. Awww...i'm still smiling as i'm writing this.
My spontaneity was highly tested with the script, or without, at Angian's banquet. Nothing surprising when you had to partner with Andrew. But i reckon that was the essence which made the event very exciting.
Ultimately, it's all about familiarity and comfort with the co-host and definitely not someone whom you only met three hours before the banquet.

Then i progressed to the hosting of church activities and that was totally a different arena.
Building rapport with the audience is the most critical and yet the toughest.
The feeling is close to an analogy of a flame that has to boil a pot of water. My temperature would determine how soon the water will boil, or not.
The sustainability of the energy outburst would often puncture me at the end of the event and i simply refused to talk anymore.
I am so glad that i am not an entertainer by profession. I will so die.
People say that it shouldn't be hard for me to do this given a bubbly nature. Well, i wouldn't deny.
I guess God didn't give me a personality like mine for nothing, so if i can serve Him with what He has given me, why not?

When i got home last night, i could feel air sipping out from my body.
No, not fart.

Weekend #3

Oh dear, i didn't realise that i haven't blogged for that long. And worse, i couldn't recall what kept me so occupied to not have time to blog.

Yes we had the Dinner and Dance which was entertaining but i did not enjoy. Hence i've drawn two conclusions to it.
It could be due to not dressing up to the theme - i was with the conservatives; or i got too bored with the same old stuff that repeats year after year.
The lucky draw prizes - if only i could win something better than the 32-inch LCD television set i got three years ago; the performances - if only i was the one performing *nose hanging high*; the management skit - omg, stop this totally! Alright, perhaps the failure of this year's was because Ken wasn't around. *giggles*

We had the Sisters' meeting for Candy's wedding at ML's place.
Unfortunately, by the end of the meeting, i could only remember the gourmet coffee, the tiramisu and the creme brulee from ML's Patisserie. She's a genius baker i tell ya.

And then we had the appreciation dinners for the Church's Sunday service team, as well as the Christmas production crew and cast.
The former was held at Ibis Hotel which i was glad that i didn't need to gorge with the miserable buffet line.
I tried to convince myself that at least we got a nice cosy space exclusively for us and that perhaps took up three quarter of the cost i guess?
But it was fun to see everyone looking relaxed than the usual uptight faces on Sundays. Just that when all of them broke into their respective ministries for sharing, i felt a tad lost and outcast as Kaf (my partner) didn't turn up.
Didn't want my evening to end so early, i met up with Persi at District 10 for a drink, since she was feeling bored too. Nice. =)

The bassist

The pastor

The pastor

Be right back!

Weekend #2

The Afternoon Tea


The DIY Dinner


The Songs

LOVL

Hong Kong v4 - Finale

I was feeling the urgency on the day before my departure and was a tad regretful for setting a pace too slow for the past few days.
Feeling determined to cover several places today, i took a cab to my lunch venue at Temple Street.
I chanced upon an uber retro cha can teng on tv some weeks ago and i was attracted to it instantly.
Found the address on channel u's website (i was pleasantly surprised that they are so considerate to their viewers!) and marked on the map on it's exact spot.
Unfortunately it wasn't easy at all!
After inquiring with three passersby and a staff from 7-11, i exclaimed (literally) when i finally found Mido Cafe.
Seated on the second level of the cha can teng, i felt like i was in the plot of 《无间道》. You know whenever they need to settle their businesses?
I was glad that they caught up with modernization by installing air condition on the upper level. It made my dining experience very pleasant as i soaked myself in the old-school establishment.
I asked for a recommendation from the English speaking supervisor and ordered a seafood cheese baked rice.
Prior informed of the longer waiting time, i didn't mind at all since i could enjoy my time of solitude with my book.I was glad that the seafood cheese baked rice made my effort and wait all worth while!
The seafood was fat and juicy and the serving was generous for a one-pax meal. Delish!
After the satisfying meal, i decided to fasten my pace and proceeded to Langham Place at Mongkok. The mall that is well-known for its extensively long escalator.
For me, i came because of 《天幕下的情人》. Hah.

Shortly, i made my way to Soho across the sea but finding my way from Central station was another perspiration soaking experience. The slopes and the stairs...how did the HongKongers manage them??
But again, it wasn't a wasted effort as i fell i love with the district instantly.
The buildings of the old British colony, the shop-front narrow paths, the pretty shops. It's just a good feeling.
They've got the most interesting mix of shops where you can find a very traditional dan tart shop in the midst of the chi chi cafes and restaurants. And mind you, the dan tart was heavenly!
I spent the rest of the afternoon in a fruit juice store till sunset before continuing my journey to the last destination.
Not knowing what was i getting myself into, i followed the instruction in the tourist guide to walk to the Star Ferry Terminal. They really like to make people walk!
Fortunately, the atmosphere of the CBD crowd indeed made my journey very interesting.
They walked very quickly, easily twice the speed of our evening peak crowd at Shenton Way.
They were very focus in getting to their destination, be in the ferry terminal, the bus stop or the train station.
They were oblivious to the surrounding, even when they knocked into moi!
And then i saw THE BRIDGE. I must have seen it in some movies! Was it 《东京攻略》?? Beautiful!

I took a ferry from the terminal across the sea to Tsim Sha Tsui as i wanted to watch the light show at the Victoria Harbour. Some China man tried to be funny and thank God i was quick to realise his ulterior motive! Don't mess with me man!
The waterfront was already packed even before the show at 8pm.
Awarded the world's "Largest Permanent Light and Sound Show" by the Guinness World Records, "A Symphony of Lights" combines interactive lights of 44 key buildings on both Hong Kong Island and Kowloon with musical effects to showcase the vibrancy and glamorous night vista of Victoria Harbour. As much as i couldn't recall seeing that many buildings with lights, i was quite overwhelmed by its magnificence. A job well done by HKTB! How about we having one at the Marina Bay?? Nah nah...let's not be a copycat!

Sitting there, thinking. Of the previous solitude trip, the past months of busyness, the coming month of busyness, the past weddings, the coming weddings, the departing friend.
I didn't feel like going home.
It seemed to be a habit to text Teck whenever i didn't feel like coming home from a solitude trip. It happened when i was in Korea. Perhaps he is the only one who will say the words that i yearned to hear i.e. "don't come back lor".
This time, i attached a picture of the night scenery of the harbour too and he replied with a picture of Baby Victor - "this is more beautiful".
He definitely knew how to get me home. =)

The show lasted for about 20 minutes. I took an uber slow stroll back to the hotel, stopping on the way at another cha chan teng for a late dinner.
Spent the rest of the night packing and repacking, for the flight back home the next day.

It was another good trip! I like Hong Kong and i'm certain that i'll be back for the third time (the first was almost twenty years ago).
It also further assured my ability and love of holidaying alone. =) I embrace independence!
Or am i introverting?? Oh dear...
Who cares! Till the next solitude vacation! =)

Intelligent People

Three S'poreans come out tops at Oxford

Among them is MM Lee's grandson, who is top overall economics student. -ST

Tue, Aug 18, 2009
The Straits Times

Three Singaporeans topped their respective courses at Oxford University this year, in a rare and extraordinary showing.

They did politics, philosophy and economics (PPE); physics; and law.

And one of them is the grandson of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew.

Mr Li Shengwu, 24, whose father is Fraser & Neave chairman Lee Hsien Yang, took top spot in his PPE class of 240 students.

Mr Shyam Srinivasan, 22, was first among 70 who did physics, while Mr Colin Liew, 23, scored first in law and bagged a £1,250 (S$2,900) award.

Mr Liew's achievement was reported in The Sunday Times on July 26.

The three top scorers are among 13 Singaporeans who graduate from Oxford this year.

The trio's achievement is unprecedented, said Mr Chim Yi Hua, a fellow PPE graduate with Mr Li.

The former president of the Oxford University Malaysian and Singaporean Students' Association said he could not recall such an unusual outcome in recent years.

'It's not easy to top one's cohort - not at all. To have three this year is very rare,' said Mr Chim, 22.

Added Mr Li: 'It's one of those things where the element of chance featured a great deal in the outcome.'

Mr Srinivasan said he was not overly surprised by the coincidence. 'Singaporeans generally do very well in Oxford.'

Besides topping PPE, Mr Li was named the top overall economics student across Oxford's 30 colleges that offer PPE and 18 that offer a joint degree in history and economics.

He received the Hicks and Webb Medley prize and £300 in prize money for his achievement.

Mr Li, who is not on a government scholarship, graduated from Balliol College. He attributed his performance in the examinations to the quick-thinking and cool head honed by many years of debating since secondary school.

At the college, he debated with Oxford Union, the university's debating club whose famous past members include the late former Pakistan prime minister Benazir Bhutto and former British prime minister Edward Heath.

Said Mr Li: 'Oxford exams reward people who can write off the cuff. In that sense, debating has some overlap with it. You need to organise information and come up with ideas quickly under time pressure.'

On Aug 5, he and a fellow Oxford debater won the European Universities Debating Championships, outperforming 163 other teams in the English as first language section.

His parents are both graduates of Cambridge University. His father got first class honours in engineering while his mother, corporate lawyer Lee Suet Fern, took a double first in law.

Mr Lee Hsien Yang credits his son's self-driven and independent nature for his achievements.

'Whatever he's done and accomplished, he's done on his own and it's very much to his credit,' he said.

Mr Li returns to Oxford's Keble College next month to pursue a Masters in Economics. He said: 'I liked both philosophy and economics, but I'm specialising in my comparative advantage - I am relatively better at economics.'

As for Mr Srinivasan, a former Indian national from Chennai who became a Singapore citizen in 2006, his interest in physics was sparked at an astronomy competition during his years at Geylang Methodist Secondary School.

The holder of an Overseas Merit Scholarship for teaching was 'very stimulated and encouraged' by his tutors at St Hugh's and hopes to inspire his students later.

'Physics isn't a popular subject, but it has a lot to offer - the chance to probe fundamental scientific processes and how to explain things right from first principles.'

He will return after completing his Masters in Applied Physics at Columbia University in the United States, and embark on a teaching career after he does his national service.

His passion for physics culminated in the Scott Prize for best performance in physics and £300 in prize money.

While the prizes are given out every year, none of the numero unos had aimed for the top spot from the outset.

Said Mr Li: 'I knew academic prizes existed for top students, but I didn't make it my goal. My only goal was to do as well as I could.'

Added Mr Srinivasan: 'In the end, it was the support from parents and friends, the little things, like a friend cooking for me during the finals, that helped us out.'

I wonder how is it like to befriend or talk to top scorers of Oxford.
And worse, world's best debater?
Will he give in to his girlfriend's whining if she's losing in an argument?
Then will he still have friends or not?
I wonder.

Not in

It has been only two weeks after the major production and when i thought that i would be spared after declaring January to be sabbatical for me, it didn't quite come true.
With the restructuring in church, i could feel that i've been receiving constant updates every now and then and they usually translated to work for me.
I'm beginning to loathe the act of being "told" to do things, instead of being "asked". Even if the request came in a form of a question, it's usually a closed one.
Perhaps i haven't master the art of rejecting people because i don't like to be rejected myself.
The fact is, as much as i understand that things are changing very swiftly and work has to be done, i would prefer to take things slowly, slower at least.
But before i could express my intention, it's already a "nah do this".
I didn't dare to look back to 2009, because it looked just too scary. If not by the grace of God, i would have derailed long ago. Projects after projects, tasks and tasks. Lesson to be learned: beware when you avail yourself to God. You better pray for sustainability as well. =p
No, i didn't regret. It was a fruitful journey and i thank God for it.
I am just (very) tired and i desperately need for a time to rejuvenate.
I know (hope) that i'll be up and running soon but before that, i wish i could withdraw from the buzz for a while, at least.

With the commencement of 2010, we are still functioning as a two-men team here in Tourism Court.
It's crazy i tell you.
One moment, i'm in a discussion of the Leisure Events scheme, next hour i'm helping someone with the Training scheme over the phone, while replying an email about the Tax scheme!
The situation is made worse when my temp staff has left the Board and i've to cover his duties as well.
One Bonny covering for four people, omg!
Seriously it's not about the amount of work, but it's the "variety" that i've to manage.
It's frustrating sometimes.
I could only look forward to February when the two new managers join us.

It's close to 8 and i'm still sitting here in my cube.
For once, i didn't mind the cold silence. At least it's peaceful.
I hope no one can find me.

As i welcome 2010...

On the last week of 2009, my body decided to purge all its wastes and toxic and by making me mute, it thought i could have a good rest.
Unfortunately, i didn't have the luxury as LL was on leave for the last week of the year, i had to kinda hold the fort in the office. Good thing that it was peaceful enough.
Nearing mid-week, i almost lost my voice entirely and hearing myself made me very sad. It didn't happen before and it caught me totally off-guard. It suddenly dawned on me that i've taken my voice for granted and it must have felt mistreated for the whole year. But i'm very thankful that it was preserved for so long and it seemed to know when i am done with it. Time to let it rest.

I took a day's mc on Wednesday and was so drowsy on medication that i could hardly sit up for more than 15 minutes. But since i've prior booked tickets to watch Treasure Hunt with Anthea jie, i thought some fresh air in the evening would do me some good.
Sad to say, the movie ticket had gone to waste as i slept through almost half the show. According to Anthea jie, the latest Jay Chou's flick was pretty watchable. No, i'm not going for the second time. =p

I didn't recover a bit on Thursday when i arrived at work but considering it was an important day, i didn't think of not coming. Mute.I'll definitely miss the time when i can shout when i need loose change to pay for my cab fare, dial 3494 when i need to bitch about things urgently, call you frantically when i realised i left my wallet unattended on my desk, look forward to receiving gifts/postcards via the dumbwaiter after/during your holiday, had our orchestra in the dance room playing 《星语心愿》 repeatedly, vet your emails to Andy and Stanley, run to catch 36 when you came down late, always shielding me when i became the common enemy of tsd just because you trust me, not forgetting the breakfasts from bistro and lunches at Mcdees, and best of all...knowing that you are always there even when we don't see each other. =(
Goodbye Bengz.
It's a whole new cycle of adaptation again.
I wonder, who's left to say goodbye to me when my turn comes.

Took a nap when i got home from a half day work before i packed my emotions to get ready for the Thanksgiving Watch Night service. Still mute.
Worshiped a lot, prayed a lot, saw a lot, heard a lot and we counted down and popped champagne.
Not forgetting big hug!!! Fifth year into our tradition!I'll continue to make sure that i won't repeat my top for the subsequent years.

On the first day of 2010, i pulled myself, literally, to the CG retreat.
I felt that my body was falling apart and, still mute.
I really wished to lie in and do nothing and i tried to justify every possible reason that i could skip the retreat.
But nothing could beat the lovelies indeed. I knew i had to be there.

Didn't regret at all as i had the most fun time with the lovelies.Thanks to Nat and Alvin for letting their house (and bed)!

You are one of the most generous couple i've ever seen!

I got home at around noon today, had lunch, took medicine and knocked out for four solid hours!
I is just too tired.

Happy New Year!