On the way back, I was trying hard to fight back my tears, but to no avail.
It was uncontrollable.
The thought that life won't be the same after you leave just made me so disoriented and helpless. The lost of a comrade and a confidant whom I run to when I'm undermined.
As I re-read the content of the Thank You card again, I reminded myself that it was a good journey and the lovely memories would last forever.
For the rest of the month, I have decided that it would be a stage of transition. I will learn to be independent again. Only to fall back on the support system when absolutely necessary.
After one last sob, I went to bed, bittersweet yet determined.
However, I got the worst prank ever the next morning, first thing when I stepped into the office, even before my laptop started up.
While starring at the string of messages, the world around me seemed to fall apart. I had difficulty catching my breath and all I could hear was hollowness.
My heart was struggling to pump the blood my brain required and everything around me swirled due to the lack of oxygen.
My fingers started trembling as the numbness spread across my body. I was really traumatized. For a moment, I couldn't decide how i should feel.
"What am I going to do?" that's the question I asked myself endlessly. On the hind sight, I have no idea why did I even think of that.
When the sense of loss crept even deeper, tears started flowing.
That was when i realised....I've lost you....completely.
For the rest of the day, I held on to a body without a soul.
I struggled hard to move along with the world but the effort involved was simply too immense.
Finally when I found my space, I started to put things in perspective.
I was furious. I felt betrayed. I was angry for the fact that the one whom i trusted so much had lied to me.
I began to recall the claims you have made. Claims that were so untrue.
From a carefree man to becoming a husband (or potentially a father??!!) in a span of 2 months? Just too absurd.
Weren't those the exact 2 months when we connected with long chats and endless topics to talk about?
Weren't those the exact 2 months when you were always available when i needed you?
Weren't those the exact 2 months when I was the happiest and felt the most secured since I came to MNL?
Weren't those the exact 2 months when we....grew closer, just as I thought? (but kept in the dark)
So was i living in an illusion all these while? Or i'm simply naive?
I wished i could scream off your head and demand for an answer immediately.
I wanted to slap myself hard. Why was i so careless to allow my feelings to slip? Didn't I harden my heart (since the last incident) to disallow any chance of feebleness? Didn't I convince myself that I'm worthy to be loved and not the other way round all the time? Didn't i agree to love myself more? Why was I so stupid to fall into a one-sided trap again?
.....I couldn't find the answer to any of my questions.
The truth is that I've grown over-dependent on you and the thought of losing you completely is tearing me apart. period.
The anger or sort was just a form of distraction from the pain. In a way, a defense mechanism to prevent myself from sinking further.
The truth is, you owe me nothing and i have no right to claim any responsibility from you.
You might have led me on along the way (even if you claim otherwise), and i dunk, being well aware of the consequences.
As the anger subsides, I begin to miss you tremendously...my comrade, my confidant.
It became so natural to click on your name when I needed to bitch about the kind of stuff we used to share.
Holding back was certainly much more painful than dealing it alone.
But you have my word, i will deal with this....alone.
As of now, I have no visibility/idea of how would things turn out between us. The ball is in your court.
If this shall be the ultimate closure, I wish you all the best in your paths ahead. Meanwhile, i'll treasure the memories we created thus far.
Hopefully one day, I can still shout out to you...BFF!
Showing posts with label my emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my emotions. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Sunday, December 05, 2010
柳暗花明
乐观的人也会有悲观的时候。
我不是圣人，所以我也不例外。
昨天，不知那个天使的探访，我突然开窍了。
每天的天气就像女人的心情一样，在你没注意的时候，一直在变化。
吃午饭的时候艳阳高照，喝下午茶的时候就刮风下雨。天上的云可真忙啊。
但这也印证了地球根本没有一刻是停止转动的。
秒针还在滴塔滴塔得顺着时钟旋转。
黑夜与白昼也随着时间交替。
既然宇宙都没有因为天灾人祸而休息，更不可能因为你不爽而停下来。
所以就只剩下两个选择 - 坐以待毙 / 柳暗花明。
一向都不喜欢浪费时间的我，绝对不会为了一个问题而执著太久。
尤其是那些超越我的解决能力的问题。
我太好玩了。苦恼的事，一点都不好玩。
不如简单点。伤心就哭，好笑就笑。
情绪过了就算了吧。
今晚的风很大，很凉。
闭上眼睛，感觉凉风轻轻地打在脸上。
顿时好像把烦恼都吹掉了。
积极了。高亢了。
我要继续享受青春去了！
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Farewell, Ken
Hi Ken,
How have you been? I hope you have settled down pretty well in another world. Were you happy with the memorial services put together for you? I've to admit that the one in Tourism Court was way too sad for your style. During the rehearsal, I felt as though you were around, correcting our notes and pitches and the impossible tempo which we could hardly catch. The memory was so fresh....
It was merely three years ago when i got the email from KL to ask if i was keen to go for an audition, after participating in a HR-organised singing competition. My only intention was to win the $200 CK Tangs voucher so that i could get nice utensils and cutlery for my new flat. Little did i know it would turn out something more rewarding than that. I was nervous yet excited for the audition, especially when it was conducted by the board's most talented and creative Director of Brands. A man who had always been up and above and known to be once the producer of the legendary musical Chang & Eng, was going to hear me sing? It sounded unreal but very flattering. However, your warmth and friendliness broke the ice almost immediately and it wasn't long that everyone got comfortable with one another and most importantly, with you. Eventually all the five brave souls were recruited into the troupe. Our first project was Staff Conference 2007 and i couldn't remember how did we manage to squeeze out so much time for the numerous sessions of rehearsals. I guess it didn't require much effort for doing something we liked. You tried very hard to perfect us but it was more important for you that we enjoyed ourselves. We did. Very much in fact. The day came and i saw you smiling widely at the front row, like a proud parent seeing their kids performing at some school function. You were so eager to gather feedback after the performance and obviously it was so positive that you couldn't wait to share your joy with us via email. You didn't keep the credit to yourself.
Subsequently, Music in Motion (thank you for giving me the opportunity to name the troupe) was formed and we dominated the stage of many official events thereafter. I was captivated by your melodious singing and was instantly blown away by your charisma when you played on the organ at every rehearsal. But i didn't think it was appropriate to tell you. Oh i didn't mean to roll eyes at you when you tried to decline our request to join us on stage when you obviously wanted to sing very much. I hope you didn't caught me from the mirror image but i thought you did. And despite complaining for singing "Uniquely You" for umpteen times, i kinda like that song pretty much. You were indeed a genius for creating a song with such a wide range.
Ken, you know, I regretted not telling you the differences you had made in my life in STB. At the time when i thought i was fading away in the monotony of life, you added colours and music which turned a graveyard into a flower festival. I began to look forward to come to work every morning, looking beyond the paperwork on my desk. You birthed the hidden desire in me and i never knew how much i like to be performing on stage. I saw a whole new perspective of the word "passion" in you and how one would never grow tired for the things they are passionate about. You became my role model in finding passion in my life and i wanted to learn from you so much and see things from your perspective. When i finally plucked my courage (and indicated my preference to transfer to the Marketing team), i didn't realised it was too late....
Sitting in the dance room two days after your departure, i could no longer hold back my tears. The thought of "gone were the good old times" was too heart-wrenching. Still in disbelief that you were gone so soon.
They wanted me to set a livelier mood in your remembrance video. I hope i didn't do too bad although i couldn't quite gather my thoughts in time to express myself. But whatever said was from the bottom of my heart.
I knew i had to do "Uniquely You" for the last time. During the rehearsal for your memorial service, the pianist asked if i knew how to operate the pedals of the organ. Subconsciously, i responded with "only Ken knows" and it suddenly hit me, how much i was going to miss you. During the actual performance, i tried my best to get a hold of myself but my vocal chord and hand seemed to be mourning as well. I'm sure you weren't pleased with the trembling voice and flat notes. But that was the highest honour i thought, to present the song to the composer.
Learned so much of your younger days at the tribute at Action Theatre. Suddenly felt so close to you but the irony was, i would never get to hear all these if not for this occasion. But having to witness your life journey, it somewhat seemed complete. Other than your inborn talent, i saw how well-loved you were as a sweet-natured man. Once again, i was glad that i saw that side of you at least.
Ken, it had been a fruitful journey. It's time to rest now but your legend shall live forever.
Missing you,
Bonny
Staff Conference 2007
Dinner and Dance 2007
Staff Conference 2008
Staff Conference 2008
"There's a place in my heart
That i keep for someone special
Memories forever true to me
Take me through those tougher days"
Music and Lyrics By ~ Ken Low
How have you been? I hope you have settled down pretty well in another world. Were you happy with the memorial services put together for you? I've to admit that the one in Tourism Court was way too sad for your style. During the rehearsal, I felt as though you were around, correcting our notes and pitches and the impossible tempo which we could hardly catch. The memory was so fresh....
It was merely three years ago when i got the email from KL to ask if i was keen to go for an audition, after participating in a HR-organised singing competition. My only intention was to win the $200 CK Tangs voucher so that i could get nice utensils and cutlery for my new flat. Little did i know it would turn out something more rewarding than that. I was nervous yet excited for the audition, especially when it was conducted by the board's most talented and creative Director of Brands. A man who had always been up and above and known to be once the producer of the legendary musical Chang & Eng, was going to hear me sing? It sounded unreal but very flattering. However, your warmth and friendliness broke the ice almost immediately and it wasn't long that everyone got comfortable with one another and most importantly, with you. Eventually all the five brave souls were recruited into the troupe. Our first project was Staff Conference 2007 and i couldn't remember how did we manage to squeeze out so much time for the numerous sessions of rehearsals. I guess it didn't require much effort for doing something we liked. You tried very hard to perfect us but it was more important for you that we enjoyed ourselves. We did. Very much in fact. The day came and i saw you smiling widely at the front row, like a proud parent seeing their kids performing at some school function. You were so eager to gather feedback after the performance and obviously it was so positive that you couldn't wait to share your joy with us via email. You didn't keep the credit to yourself.
Subsequently, Music in Motion (thank you for giving me the opportunity to name the troupe) was formed and we dominated the stage of many official events thereafter. I was captivated by your melodious singing and was instantly blown away by your charisma when you played on the organ at every rehearsal. But i didn't think it was appropriate to tell you. Oh i didn't mean to roll eyes at you when you tried to decline our request to join us on stage when you obviously wanted to sing very much. I hope you didn't caught me from the mirror image but i thought you did. And despite complaining for singing "Uniquely You" for umpteen times, i kinda like that song pretty much. You were indeed a genius for creating a song with such a wide range.
Ken, you know, I regretted not telling you the differences you had made in my life in STB. At the time when i thought i was fading away in the monotony of life, you added colours and music which turned a graveyard into a flower festival. I began to look forward to come to work every morning, looking beyond the paperwork on my desk. You birthed the hidden desire in me and i never knew how much i like to be performing on stage. I saw a whole new perspective of the word "passion" in you and how one would never grow tired for the things they are passionate about. You became my role model in finding passion in my life and i wanted to learn from you so much and see things from your perspective. When i finally plucked my courage (and indicated my preference to transfer to the Marketing team), i didn't realised it was too late....
Sitting in the dance room two days after your departure, i could no longer hold back my tears. The thought of "gone were the good old times" was too heart-wrenching. Still in disbelief that you were gone so soon.
They wanted me to set a livelier mood in your remembrance video. I hope i didn't do too bad although i couldn't quite gather my thoughts in time to express myself. But whatever said was from the bottom of my heart.
I knew i had to do "Uniquely You" for the last time. During the rehearsal for your memorial service, the pianist asked if i knew how to operate the pedals of the organ. Subconsciously, i responded with "only Ken knows" and it suddenly hit me, how much i was going to miss you. During the actual performance, i tried my best to get a hold of myself but my vocal chord and hand seemed to be mourning as well. I'm sure you weren't pleased with the trembling voice and flat notes. But that was the highest honour i thought, to present the song to the composer.
Learned so much of your younger days at the tribute at Action Theatre. Suddenly felt so close to you but the irony was, i would never get to hear all these if not for this occasion. But having to witness your life journey, it somewhat seemed complete. Other than your inborn talent, i saw how well-loved you were as a sweet-natured man. Once again, i was glad that i saw that side of you at least.
Ken, it had been a fruitful journey. It's time to rest now but your legend shall live forever.
Missing you,
Bonny
Staff Conference 2007
Dinner and Dance 2007
Staff Conference 2008
Staff Conference 2008
"There's a place in my heart
That i keep for someone special
Memories forever true to me
Take me through those tougher days"
Music and Lyrics By ~ Ken Low
Saturday, June 26, 2010
It's my birthday, so what?
I think i broke the most number of comments received on FB this month.
It started with many wishes on my birthday and indeed i had a good celebration, with many people. In fact, the dinners have not ended to date.
And then, in less than two weeks, the situation swung to the other extreme. My FB was filled with condolences with the departure of Gong Gong.
This was how dramatic my life can be.
On the night before i left for church camp, i visited Gong Gong at the hospital.
He was using all his might, grasping every breathe, but at the same time, trying to open his eyes to take a look at his granddaughter.
He had been warded on and off for the past year but this time, i could feel the difference.
For the first time, he held up his hand, wanting to hold mine.
As i held onto his cold and wrinkled hand, my tears became uncontrollable.
I said a prayer for him, even when he didn't know the Lord. But i thought it might comfort him a little.
When i left the ward, i felt rather uneasy but i prayed that God will hold the time till i returned.
Indeed, God is good.
Four days later, the first call after i crossed the custom was from Mum.
I dashed to the hospital, only to see Gong Gong lying peacefully on the bed.
As much as i was rational about such things, it didn't stop me from breaking down. I am still an emotional being anyway.
And then the procedures went on and when i had a chance to be quiet before the coffin, i began to think time is how merciless time can be.
Seven years ago, at the same void deck, the body that was lied in the coffin was Jia-Jia ("Granny" in Hakka). Where did that seven years go?
The memory of Gong Gong towing me to watch 《十三姐》 at Golden Mile Cinema only occurred twenty-three years ago. So what's in stored another twenty-three years later?
Oh well, i'm indeed feeling a little down after the series of events and emotions.
But i guess only i (and you) will know. I never like to disrupt the order of people's life, as far as i can.
And Bonny is always strong and fierce, she needs no one, does she?
It started with many wishes on my birthday and indeed i had a good celebration, with many people. In fact, the dinners have not ended to date.
And then, in less than two weeks, the situation swung to the other extreme. My FB was filled with condolences with the departure of Gong Gong.
This was how dramatic my life can be.
On the night before i left for church camp, i visited Gong Gong at the hospital.
He was using all his might, grasping every breathe, but at the same time, trying to open his eyes to take a look at his granddaughter.
He had been warded on and off for the past year but this time, i could feel the difference.
For the first time, he held up his hand, wanting to hold mine.
As i held onto his cold and wrinkled hand, my tears became uncontrollable.
I said a prayer for him, even when he didn't know the Lord. But i thought it might comfort him a little.
When i left the ward, i felt rather uneasy but i prayed that God will hold the time till i returned.
Indeed, God is good.
Four days later, the first call after i crossed the custom was from Mum.
I dashed to the hospital, only to see Gong Gong lying peacefully on the bed.
As much as i was rational about such things, it didn't stop me from breaking down. I am still an emotional being anyway.
And then the procedures went on and when i had a chance to be quiet before the coffin, i began to think time is how merciless time can be.
Seven years ago, at the same void deck, the body that was lied in the coffin was Jia-Jia ("Granny" in Hakka). Where did that seven years go?
The memory of Gong Gong towing me to watch 《十三姐》 at Golden Mile Cinema only occurred twenty-three years ago. So what's in stored another twenty-three years later?
Oh well, i'm indeed feeling a little down after the series of events and emotions.
But i guess only i (and you) will know. I never like to disrupt the order of people's life, as far as i can.
And Bonny is always strong and fierce, she needs no one, does she?
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Back...again
Finally made the move to go to the gym but the plan was ruined just when i got out from the elevator.
It was closed for refurbishment since last Friday and would only reopen tomorrow, the security guard said.
Sigh, even the gym gave up on me.
The pain on the back is haunting me again for the past two to three weeks.
This is the longest it has persisted ever since i started on physio. I don't know when will it go.
I've tried all means to curb the pain with stretches, ointment and even painkillers. Didn't quite help.
I couldn't think of a better reason for the deterioration except for the long hours that i've been sitting down in my cube.
The workload couldn't allow me to stay away from the laptop for too long or rather, it's difficult to keep standing up every 45 minutes when i am already focusing on a piece of work.
I think i have complained too much on this pain previously that anymore of it, people might just think i'm whining.
I guess overtime, i try not to mention it so that i won't be reminded of it, even though the pain can be a bit unbearable sometimes.
The only incentive i pray is that i could go for more regular physio without having to go under the scrutiny of my boss.
Not very positive when she has already started to display displeasure for the half-day leave i took for a medical follow-up.
Pain management is already tough to cope and the only think i ask for is understanding, not even compassion. I've long given up the hope for compassion in this organization since six years ago.
Sigh.
I hate pain. It makes me depressed.
Whenever i'm in pain, i don't feel like doing anything. But if i don't, i'll feel useless and more miserable. And yet when i do it, i struggle.
Especially when i had to step aside to pop painkillers in the midst of activity, because if i don't, i can't last.
Joy, i've lost and the motivation to do most things.
Sigh.
I prayed, asking God to take away the pain, or at least help me to endure it better.
Pray no enough?
It was closed for refurbishment since last Friday and would only reopen tomorrow, the security guard said.
Sigh, even the gym gave up on me.
The pain on the back is haunting me again for the past two to three weeks.
This is the longest it has persisted ever since i started on physio. I don't know when will it go.
I've tried all means to curb the pain with stretches, ointment and even painkillers. Didn't quite help.
I couldn't think of a better reason for the deterioration except for the long hours that i've been sitting down in my cube.
The workload couldn't allow me to stay away from the laptop for too long or rather, it's difficult to keep standing up every 45 minutes when i am already focusing on a piece of work.
I think i have complained too much on this pain previously that anymore of it, people might just think i'm whining.
I guess overtime, i try not to mention it so that i won't be reminded of it, even though the pain can be a bit unbearable sometimes.
The only incentive i pray is that i could go for more regular physio without having to go under the scrutiny of my boss.
Not very positive when she has already started to display displeasure for the half-day leave i took for a medical follow-up.
Pain management is already tough to cope and the only think i ask for is understanding, not even compassion. I've long given up the hope for compassion in this organization since six years ago.
Sigh.
I hate pain. It makes me depressed.
Whenever i'm in pain, i don't feel like doing anything. But if i don't, i'll feel useless and more miserable. And yet when i do it, i struggle.
Especially when i had to step aside to pop painkillers in the midst of activity, because if i don't, i can't last.
Joy, i've lost and the motivation to do most things.
Sigh.
I prayed, asking God to take away the pain, or at least help me to endure it better.
Pray no enough?
Monday, February 01, 2010
再见了
今天受委屈了。
很自然的，就打开msn想找你发牢骚。才浑然察觉，你已不在。
说真的，还没习惯没有你的日子。或许我真得太依赖你了。
以往不管受了多少气，重在你的诙谐下，一切都能化解。
现在的我，累计在心里闷气，只能让时间去化解。
憋得很辛苦。尤其还得强颜欢笑的故作大方，故作坚强。
你还好吗？
你的离去，也为这段机缘巧合建立起的感情，画下了句点。
我们再也无须为彼此的期望而承受任何压力。
也该是时候释怀了。
短暂的两年，发展得快，结束的也快。
但我从没后悔，也打从心底感谢你在这些日子带给我的欢乐时光。
短期内应该会很难适应。
可是打着独立新女性头衔的我，会再次独领风骚。
我会过得很好。
你也要。。。。
祝。。。幸福快乐。
很自然的，就打开msn想找你发牢骚。才浑然察觉，你已不在。
说真的，还没习惯没有你的日子。或许我真得太依赖你了。
以往不管受了多少气，重在你的诙谐下，一切都能化解。
现在的我，累计在心里闷气，只能让时间去化解。
憋得很辛苦。尤其还得强颜欢笑的故作大方，故作坚强。
你还好吗？
你的离去，也为这段机缘巧合建立起的感情，画下了句点。
我们再也无须为彼此的期望而承受任何压力。
也该是时候释怀了。
短暂的两年，发展得快，结束的也快。
但我从没后悔，也打从心底感谢你在这些日子带给我的欢乐时光。
短期内应该会很难适应。
可是打着独立新女性头衔的我，会再次独领风骚。
我会过得很好。
你也要。。。。
祝。。。幸福快乐。
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Not in
It has been only two weeks after the major production and when i thought that i would be spared after declaring January to be sabbatical for me, it didn't quite come true.
With the restructuring in church, i could feel that i've been receiving constant updates every now and then and they usually translated to work for me.
I'm beginning to loathe the act of being "told" to do things, instead of being "asked". Even if the request came in a form of a question, it's usually a closed one.
Perhaps i haven't master the art of rejecting people because i don't like to be rejected myself.
The fact is, as much as i understand that things are changing very swiftly and work has to be done, i would prefer to take things slowly, slower at least.
But before i could express my intention, it's already a "nah do this".
I didn't dare to look back to 2009, because it looked just too scary. If not by the grace of God, i would have derailed long ago. Projects after projects, tasks and tasks. Lesson to be learned: beware when you avail yourself to God. You better pray for sustainability as well. =p
No, i didn't regret. It was a fruitful journey and i thank God for it.
I am just (very) tired and i desperately need for a time to rejuvenate.
I know (hope) that i'll be up and running soon but before that, i wish i could withdraw from the buzz for a while, at least.
With the commencement of 2010, we are still functioning as a two-men team here in Tourism Court.
It's crazy i tell you.
One moment, i'm in a discussion of the Leisure Events scheme, next hour i'm helping someone with the Training scheme over the phone, while replying an email about the Tax scheme!
The situation is made worse when my temp staff has left the Board and i've to cover his duties as well.
One Bonny covering for four people, omg!
Seriously it's not about the amount of work, but it's the "variety" that i've to manage.
It's frustrating sometimes.
I could only look forward to February when the two new managers join us.
It's close to 8 and i'm still sitting here in my cube.
For once, i didn't mind the cold silence. At least it's peaceful.
I hope no one can find me.
With the restructuring in church, i could feel that i've been receiving constant updates every now and then and they usually translated to work for me.
I'm beginning to loathe the act of being "told" to do things, instead of being "asked". Even if the request came in a form of a question, it's usually a closed one.
Perhaps i haven't master the art of rejecting people because i don't like to be rejected myself.
The fact is, as much as i understand that things are changing very swiftly and work has to be done, i would prefer to take things slowly, slower at least.
But before i could express my intention, it's already a "nah do this".
I didn't dare to look back to 2009, because it looked just too scary. If not by the grace of God, i would have derailed long ago. Projects after projects, tasks and tasks. Lesson to be learned: beware when you avail yourself to God. You better pray for sustainability as well. =p
No, i didn't regret. It was a fruitful journey and i thank God for it.
I am just (very) tired and i desperately need for a time to rejuvenate.
I know (hope) that i'll be up and running soon but before that, i wish i could withdraw from the buzz for a while, at least.
With the commencement of 2010, we are still functioning as a two-men team here in Tourism Court.
It's crazy i tell you.
One moment, i'm in a discussion of the Leisure Events scheme, next hour i'm helping someone with the Training scheme over the phone, while replying an email about the Tax scheme!
The situation is made worse when my temp staff has left the Board and i've to cover his duties as well.
One Bonny covering for four people, omg!
Seriously it's not about the amount of work, but it's the "variety" that i've to manage.
It's frustrating sometimes.
I could only look forward to February when the two new managers join us.
It's close to 8 and i'm still sitting here in my cube.
For once, i didn't mind the cold silence. At least it's peaceful.
I hope no one can find me.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
My Physiotherapist
I think it's strange at how some random people leave deep impression in your life.
Especially when their appearance is neither planned nor expected. By chance - you would have name it.
Brian is one of whom i've encountered recently.
Ever since i've started physiotherapy, SGH has become the next most frequent hangout after church as i would have to return every one to two weeks.
Initially, i was allocated to Sharon, Physiotherapist I, who is a sweet and gentle (but definitely not when she rubs on my back with her 吃奶的力!) girl and i'm quite comfortable with her.
However, two months later, she suggested to transfer me to another unit which specialises in more intense back stretching exercise under strict supervision. "More intense"!!! But i had no excuse to back out since i'm prepared to be moved like a chess the moment i stepped into SGH. It's for my good isn't it. Anyway, i've digressed.
And so when i turned up at the "intense unit" one fine day, that was where i met Brian, Physiotherapist II.
His cheerful disposition puts his patients at ease and he is ever ready with his words of encouragement when they have difficulties in their exercises. But nothing beats his cheekiness.
There's little time that i isn't in my i-can-so-die-right-now frame of mind and i would either find fault with the machine, no space or the gym ball isn't placed properly. And my most commonly used exclamation is "how can??!!!".
But somehow, he is always able to coax me to complete the set of thirty. 厉害!
The rest of the physiotherapists would just buy in to my lame excuses and skip those impossible stretches.
Today, I went for my appointment, whined about being sick and managed to escape the trainer. Heh heh.
However, he didn’t let me off so easily too. I had a good workout on my lower abdominal muscle when I almost threw up. He commented that he doesn’t believe in easy things.
Perhaps the trainer was a better option.
In any case, after the usual one-hour long therapy, I sat down for the usual debrief and booking of next session when he randomly mentioned that the Australian radio station, which was already playing, was pretty good.
I didn’t bother much about it as I was busy deciding on my next appointment date.
After confirming the appointment which is two weeks later, he abruptly said that this would be the last session with me as he would be leaving the hospital very soon to further his studies in Australia.
Being a subsidized patient for so long, I’m kinda used to changing of medical officers but when Brian broke the news to me, I had a sense of reluctance. But the strangest thing is that such a connection can be built just over two sessions of therapy!
I bade my farewell and left the hospital in deep thoughts, of things I couldn’t put in words.
Now that I’m seated at Starbucks at Central Mall, I hope to be able to decipher the thoughts that tagged along by recording the events. I drew several possibilities:
All the best, Brian Pereira.
Especially when their appearance is neither planned nor expected. By chance - you would have name it.
Brian is one of whom i've encountered recently.
Ever since i've started physiotherapy, SGH has become the next most frequent hangout after church as i would have to return every one to two weeks.
Initially, i was allocated to Sharon, Physiotherapist I, who is a sweet and gentle (but definitely not when she rubs on my back with her 吃奶的力!) girl and i'm quite comfortable with her.
However, two months later, she suggested to transfer me to another unit which specialises in more intense back stretching exercise under strict supervision. "More intense"!!! But i had no excuse to back out since i'm prepared to be moved like a chess the moment i stepped into SGH. It's for my good isn't it. Anyway, i've digressed.
And so when i turned up at the "intense unit" one fine day, that was where i met Brian, Physiotherapist II.
His cheerful disposition puts his patients at ease and he is ever ready with his words of encouragement when they have difficulties in their exercises. But nothing beats his cheekiness.
There's little time that i isn't in my i-can-so-die-right-now frame of mind and i would either find fault with the machine, no space or the gym ball isn't placed properly. And my most commonly used exclamation is "how can??!!!".
But somehow, he is always able to coax me to complete the set of thirty. 厉害!
The rest of the physiotherapists would just buy in to my lame excuses and skip those impossible stretches.
Today, I went for my appointment, whined about being sick and managed to escape the trainer. Heh heh.
However, he didn’t let me off so easily too. I had a good workout on my lower abdominal muscle when I almost threw up. He commented that he doesn’t believe in easy things.
Perhaps the trainer was a better option.
In any case, after the usual one-hour long therapy, I sat down for the usual debrief and booking of next session when he randomly mentioned that the Australian radio station, which was already playing, was pretty good.
I didn’t bother much about it as I was busy deciding on my next appointment date.
After confirming the appointment which is two weeks later, he abruptly said that this would be the last session with me as he would be leaving the hospital very soon to further his studies in Australia.
Being a subsidized patient for so long, I’m kinda used to changing of medical officers but when Brian broke the news to me, I had a sense of reluctance. But the strangest thing is that such a connection can be built just over two sessions of therapy!
I bade my farewell and left the hospital in deep thoughts, of things I couldn’t put in words.
Now that I’m seated at Starbucks at Central Mall, I hope to be able to decipher the thoughts that tagged along by recording the events. I drew several possibilities:
- I was purely envious of him, to be able to pursue his studies abroad.
- I was reminded of a close one who would be following his footstep in less than a month.
- My condition seemed to have improved under Brian’s supervision and I didn’t have the similar faith for the next therapist.
- It is not easy to find a therapist I can click instantly and I find it a pity that one of such has to go so soon.
- I was merely too emotional because I’m ill. You know, sick people are usually emotionally weaker.
All the best, Brian Pereira.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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